From LISTENING AND CONNECTING AS ONE (10)
No person is an island but we are each in our own universe of interpretation.
"Why communicate if the same message we give is not the same message received?"
I began this book with the thoughts in mind that what we perceive from another's conversation isn't necessarily what was intended. I followed that with some scientific and psychological backing. And then I read...
"The thought we give out will reach the thought reaching toward it to make the contact we need to talk to one another. When these two thoughts meet, communication takes place." - Brotherhood, transcribed by Jean K Foster in The God-Mind Connection.
I heard myself exclaiming, "this is the approach I desire to share! This is how we are in Oneness... through our spirit!" We may not always communicate with the every-day chitchat and other conversations that take place fully understanding but when spirit gets involved, yes, there is communion... communication!
A child blows an array of rainbow tinted bubbles out to bounce around with the air currents. Two or three of those bubbles find each other, join and become one. Sometimes the information from one is nearly the same as the other and they blend with no necessary expansion. Sometimes the bubble, when blended with another, doubles in size. Consider these bubbles as our thoughts reaching out to meet and connect with the thoughts of others.
When we look at interpretation, communication tends to decrease the amount of worthwhile information in a message. It changes because we are listening from our own memory.
When we are listening to others, discussions often tend to be a disagreement of what the subject is about. That is because the meanings of terms used to describe the nature of the discussion vary, depending on the person using the terms. The same pattern of fuzzy approach can be found in other fields where missions, goals, or performances have to be clarified.
If I ask my husband a question about something I want to do on my computer, but haven't learned how yet, his response may include some history on the computer, what the computer can do and a list of things the computer cannot do. I usually don't understand very much of the terminology. He thinks he is answering my question. I wanted a simple, "You do it by..." or "No, it is not possible to do that with the capabilities of your computer right now." I restate my question. Usually, this shortens his answer. After several misunderstandings, I realize what I probably really wanted was for him to come in to do what I requested if it was possible. I had not stated that. Once we find common terms for discussion, the question is resolved.
An example of this might be, "What is a cookie?" It is something good to eat, especially if it includes chocolate chips. Right? In computer language, I still don't know, except that it is something internet sites send to my computer to identify that I have been there. There is much more technicality involved with sending cookies but at this time I do not need to know.
What I do know is that a cookie sets up a memory system, as a comparison to what happens with our inner memory. When we see something familiar, our mind finds the memory and says, "Oh, I already know about this. I have seen or heard this at another time."
If I listen to another person offering a discourse about something they believe to be true, my interpretation reflects my past experience with the subject. I may agree with portions or I may disagree because of how my past experiences have impressed my beliefs.
Because we observe this happening, we do not have to agree with others as taking their truth for ourselves. We can agree that they are experiencing their reason for being, whatever that may be at the time.
By learning to disregard the cookies when necessary, I can listen and experience what the other person is sharing in our now. This allows me to tune in to the spiritual intention behind what is being shared, interpreted and perceived.
Staying attuned by listening, as well as seeing, brings enlightenment. Listening is a skill we often take for granted. Being a good listener requires definite effort and practice. There are many ways we can listen. We can hear with our ears as well as with our other senses, including our thoughts and feelings. Perhaps, most importantly, we can listen to our own hearts. By being open to the deepest meaning for life we can contact, we avail ourselves to a wealth of inner resources and guidance.
One such resource is the gift of imaging. We all have this gift. It is ours for calling it forth. Once we find our inner imaging resource, we can call up a place that has special meaning to us. This place can become our meeting place with our inner guidance.
Do places communicate with us? They do with me. I sense an incredible joy when I take myself, in memory, to a special place. My memory has honed and developed this place into an exquisite jewel. I find this place by listening to my emotions and asking for this healing joy of contentment. I receive the healing through the soul feelings this place sends to me. For me, this place is Lake Tahoe.
"To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others." - Anthony Robbins
Once we learn to listen to inner guidance, it is much easier to listen to others. Listening with the whole self to another person means releasing any thoughts about what we will say next. Focusing on what the other person is saying in this moment can help erase the tendency to compare what they are saying to something from our past. We have tendency to be tracking through our memory maze as they are speaking so we will be ready with a response. We tend to connect with what they are saying through our collection of beliefs and memories.
Can we release past beliefs? "It is not so easy, since they come from actual experience," you may reply.
"A lady was cutting off the ends of a ham to bake for Christmas. The neighbor watching asked, 'May I ask why you cut the ends off that ham?' The lady said, 'I have no idea; my mom always did that.' So she asked her mom why she cut the ends off her ham. Her mom said, 'I have no idea; my mom always did that.' So the curious lady went to her grandma, determined to get to the bottom of this and asked her. Her grandma said, 'Why child, I had this small pan when your mom was little and my holiday hams wouldn't fit, so I cut off the ends and made it fit.'" - Author unknown
We have probably all experienced this in some way. We trust in another's judgment and effortlessly accept it as our truth. In this way, we can see the importance of releasing past beliefs.
When I asked Jaguar if she thinks it is possible to release past beliefs, she explained, "We can do anything we choose! Gil Boyne, the hypnotherapist, has a good technique. He slaps you on the forehead with his palm, usually with a resounding slap, saying the word 'sleep,' loudly, and then regresses you back to experiences in your childhood where the pattern, attitude, blockage, or whatever began and assists you to experience the event as the adult you now are! It's a powerful technique and Dusty, you have a handle on it because you know how to use your knowledge of all the I's within."
By being aware of our many selves, we can take control of our personality and stay aware of the true message being offered. The entire transaction is embedded within memory. The setting in which any message is emitted, transmitted, and admitted influences its interpretation, and vice versa: the content continually endures change by the messages being interpreted. Much of what is sent is recognized; otherwise, we would not be able to converse.
The term, memory, basically refers to the person's understanding of conditions and how to be appropriate in sharing. To be appropriate does not necessarily mean saying a lot, but rather, saying what is relevant to the discussion.
Content includes the whole range of the mind's ability to understand messages flowing, as well as the memory of prior messages that have been processed or experienced. It also includes the anticipation of future messages expected to be brought into awareness.
Past beliefs can bring personal judgment and disallow the rights of personal interpretation by others. We have tendency to feel our beliefs are the only ones that are true for everyone, including ourselves, which gives us a degree of unwillingness to consider change. We often present them in this manner when sharing with others.
There are several good sources that offer guidance to help us become aware when memory is taking center stage. Once we are aware, we can make necessary changes. But, as a friend, Linda, shares, "Be forewarned; the change you need may require more than a cosmetic touchup. It may require a root canal: a shift in geography, marital status, friends, career or religion."
Sometimes, shifting to the present and letting go of the past does make a big change in our lives. This happens for people when they lose their spouse, especially after being married many years. The memories are still there but the means of living must be in the now, with necessary changes, and a new lifestyle taking shape.
Geographical moves require living in the present, as well. Moving to a new location is considered a major reason for trauma but it doesn't have to be. Are we then willing to tune in to let go completely? This can allow us to enjoy what is here and what is yet to come.
Another friend, Dennis, feels we must release past beliefs in order to grow. He is not referring to just spiritual beliefs but all beliefs about everything. "All beliefs are based on limited observation from the past. Dismiss all beliefs as faulty, and get to the inner knowing. Choose to know nothing based on past perceptions, and live now."
Communication can be achieved both my simply willing it so and practice. When we take time to get quiet before we speak or listen to another, we can tune to the root of their thought, to their intention. We can release our memory and experience more than our perception, our interpretation. We can experience our truth from what is extracted from the spirit of the intended meaning.
My experience with this seemed sparse, knowing it happened with my sister-in-spirit and even with her, there were times when we were not connecting on the surface but the deeper meaning was exchanged. This was the case when I put together the book, Dear Sunny. She and I have many different ways of observing and experiencing life mentally and physically but we are together on the spiritual level.
Recently, I experienced that deeper meaning at a conference where I had not previously met, person-to-person, any of the participants. When we came together, it was as if we were One Soul amongst our different roles as parents, teachers, engineers and through various other walks of life. When we came together we could sense the Oneness in thought and feeling. This Oneness surpassed these two senses. It was an Essence, indescribable. It continues between us, even though we live many miles apart. We sense the continued connection.
This is a truer sense of my perception of what God intends for us as communication, along with the fellowship in sharing with one another. As this happens, our world expands through awareness and communion with our Creator, with others, whether we consider them friend or foe, and with observing nature.
Today's world offers ample opportunity for this type of communication. With the technical advancements, scientific studies, psychological analyses, social corrections, variety of religious beliefs and all forms of constant adjustments, we feel our world is spinning with no sense of communication with anyone or anything. Here we are going to jump off the merry-go-round and find that deep sense of communication in the Oneness of spirit.
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